Tuesday, October 25, 2011

What's In A Name? pt 1

   Last week I was asked to head up the games at the birthday party of one of my daughter's friends. After searching the Internet for some time  I was not very satisfied with what I was finding...or more the lack thereof. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of games. But they were all geared towards 'princessy' vain little girls...the girls at this birthday party were far from that. They are all being taught to be mature,accomplished young ladies that will one day have a home of their own. I needed a game that would be both fun and stimulating as well as challenging and thought provoking. The more I prayed that God would give me wisdom and help me find the right games, He brought something to mind.
  A long time ago when my teenagers were little I made the rule that NO one is ever allowed to say they are 'bored'. I came up with a game of 'Guess What Animal I Am?' The person that is 'it' begins to describe an animal and the others try to be the first one to guess what it is. The Lord gave me the idea of using this as a basis but instead of animals, have the girls guess what woman of the Bible I was describing. Not only would this be fun but I could also teach a small lesson concerning each woman and how they changed their world.
  The first woman I chose was of course, Eve, the mother of all mankind! Since we had such a variety of young ladies at the party I used her for the youngest ones to guess. They really had a great time! The application of course was something that I could even take to heart!
  Eve, the crown of God's creation! She completed Man! That is what every woman is to her man...a completion! There is something very important that we need to know about ourselves as women though. In 1 Peter 3:7 God says 'Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them(women) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.' In this day and time that we live in there is such a pull on girls from the time that they can start walking to be 'strong' and career oriented, being taught to not let man have dominance over them. Weaker in this sense does not mean not strong.
  Let's look at the difference between a  coffee mug and a china tea cup. They both have the same job to do and that is to hold a very hot liquid.   It is very obvious though that the mug can take more 'abuse' and pressure while the tea cup is dainty and fragile. It is the same with us women, whether we admit it or not! Oh, yes, we can be strong spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even sometimes physically but not in the same way a man can be. We can even be stronger than a man..even 'our' man, but not for very long. It is just not the way that God made us! I love the verse in Proverbs 31:17 speaking of the Virtuous Woman 'She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.' To gird means to put on. A man is strong all the time...we woman do not always need to be so but we must be willing, by God's grace and through His power, to be strong when the occasion calls for it.
  Being the 'delicate' vessel, Eve, was deceived in the Garden of Eden, not Adam. It is very easy for us woman to be deceived as well....after all, we all follow in our mother's footsteps! We must guard against this! As Christian women we must teach the younger generation to not listen to the lies of Satan through outlets such as Hollywood and music. God is not a cookie cutter god. Just look around us and see the variety and difference in us all! He did not make us to be fashion models and it is so sad to see that as a focus amongst women of all ages. We need to embrace the way that God has made us and learn to accept ourselves as His creation! Romans 9:20 says 'Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?' No, it is not easy, but by His grace we can  learn to accept ourselves as He has made us.
  We also need to learn why we were created. Satan has filled so many hearts with the lies of feminism. Why would any woman want to have or hold the same place as a man? Because she has been told a lie! We, women, are the crowning of God's creation! Why would we want to be like a man? Why would we want the same responsibilities? We hold power in our hands and we do not even realize it! Remember the sayings 'Behind every good man is a good woman' and 'The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world'? We need to get back to the basics! We can change this world!! Not by joining the realms of politics ourselves but by rearing our boys to!! We need to begin to teach our little girls how to love their husbands and support them, not to compete with them! And that starts in the home, with us!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Deer me!!!!

 My earliest memories of a deer, outside of Bambi, would be from my maternal grandfather, Hugh Fillingim.  My cousin and I were spending the day with him and we happened upon the poor beast hanging upside down in our grandfather's laundry room. Not the best way to introduce a little 5 year old city girl to rustic life.
  My next memory is when I was a bit older, maybe 7 or 8. I was spending some time during the summer with my aunt and uncle. My aunt had made us what I thought was turkey sausage from the local grocers. Boy, was it good!! After I had finished eating my lunch I was asked what I thought about it. You can only imagine my surprise when I found out that it was deer meat.
  Fast forward a few years to age 10. I am getting something out of the refrigerator and see this funny looking package. You guessed it, deer meat. I remember my dad cooking it and thinking it stinks...REAL bad. My mother said it was because it went bad (ya right!!)
 I was born and raised in the city. I was not familiar with ANY thing country. I vaguely remember my grandfather and my great grandmother gardening but it was not a way of our life.
  Somewhere along the way of getting to know my husband (while we were dating) he had mentioned hunting. But it never fazed me and I just listened never thinking that it might possibly be something that I would become more familiar with down the road.
  Fast forward again, and I am now 23. We have a 7 month old and I am expecting another baby. We now live in South Dakota. Good bye city, hello prairie. It is hunting season and my husband's cousins and some of his friends are going stir crazy over deer season. You would think they were taking steroids or something. My husband, who did hunt while a teenager, is caught up in the excitement.  I am about to get the experience of a life time! We wait the magic 3 days (which is a bunch of hooey if you ask me!) until it is time to butcher and I mean butcher the poor thing.
 We go to his cousin's house, who claims to be an expert at all things deer, and I am in for the shock of my life. His wife goes and gets a shower curtain, they move all the chairs away from the kitchen table and then in comes my husband and his cousin with not just a deer but one that has been skinned! I just about fell over! There is NO way I'm touching that thing!!! But touch I did! Thankfully my job was to rinse and package the meat. But I was taking too long for his cousin. He just didn't understand! There was a weird, slimy substance covering the meat and ALL of it was coming off before I packaged it. Well, that didn't last long because I was being too picky. How in the world can you be too picky over raw meat?!
  The only meat I ate from that deer were the 'steaks' and I fried mine to a crisp and drenched them in ketchup! After that experience I could always tell when one of our acquaintances had been cooking deer meat. It had a stench to it that is worse than fish!!!!
  My husband respected the fact that I did not care for deer meat and for that I am ever so grateful! Funny thing is our children absolutely love it! I always tried to hide my distaste for it because I did not want influence them concerning this. About 2 years before we left South Dakota another cousin of my husbands moved out there. Now he could cook, grill, BBQ, jerky, etc deer meat! It didn't smell or taste like what everyone elses smelled or tasted like. It wasn't too bad after all! The sad thing is my husband wasn't drawn in the 'lottery' (the way they choose who gets to hunt in SD) and I never was able to cook deer the way his cousin did.
 But don't fret, I don't loose any sleep over it. Being born in Texas, I grew up on steak. And that is what I prefer to eat, well, that and Mexican food, until the day I die!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Random Thoughts

 Last night my husband made a comment concerning a couple we know. He wondered how in the world did 'she' end up with 'him'?! I found his question a bit funny! Though I had thought the match unlikely I never questioned it...I just filled in my own conclusions by taking what I know of him and and what I know of her and realizing that they were not so unlikely of a match as what you might think.
  Have you ever noticed that there are more 'pretty' girls with not so handsome men? And that is it very rare that you find an ugly girl with a very handsome man. Ever wonder why? I think I might have an idea.
 This is what I told my husband concerning the afore mentioned couple. I bet he makes her laugh...she feels secure when she is with him...he 'gives' her worth and meaning....and even though she might not be as beautiful as Miss America, he makes her feel beautiful....from the inside out...which is a beauty that goes far deeper than physical beauty.
 Most good looking men want a woman that either compares with their looks or exceeds them. A woman on the other hand...well...that is a completely different story. Though looks are nice, we would rather be with someone that likes us for who we are, not what we look like. The man could be the ugliest man on earth, but if he makes you laugh, or values you, cherishes you, you can see past his looks...you can his his heart. And that's what really matters to a woman!
  For a woman, sometimes physical beauty can be a curse! A woman would much rather be loved for what is on the inside than for what is on the outside. We(women) are all to aware of the fact that with time the physical beauty will wither and fade, that it is the inner beauty of the woman that will last. It takes a real man to realize this as well!
  True beauty, whether you are a man or a woman, lies within. And if you are a Christian, Christ deepens that beauty with His strength and love and joy and grace.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Conflict of Interest

 Have you ever been torn betwixt two? Two decisions of upmost importance? As a mom that homeschools her children I have found myself in this place on more than one occassion. This time the ugly culprit was the chicken pox.
  My husband thinks of me as a 'go to' kind of girl. Give me something to do or that needs to be done and I have analyzed it, made a list, and have already employed several of our children to help accomplish the task. So as a homeschooling mother I look at our studies in this same way! Analyze what needs to be done for the day, make a list (even if it's a mental one) and then work away at it until it is finished. My problem with this is when our children are sick. It is so hard for me to just let them be, well, sick. It is not in my lesson plans, I have no place for it on my 'list' and it is just down right aggrivating (tongue in cheek!)
  Dealing with colds or the flu is one thing...the chicken pox...well, that has been a whole new ball game!! We had 3 sick children...that is half of my student body!!!! What to do?!?!? I struggled so hard with myself. I felt obligated to that part of me that is a die hard 'get it done' mentality and yet I felt guilty for 'gently' encouraging them to try do get at least some of their school work done.
  So one night, while laying in bed I was pouring my heart to my husband over feeling guilty because we were not getting the amount of school work accomplished that I thought we needed to. My husband, who is so very practical (my anchor) just looked at me and said 'You need to be their mom,not their school teacher.'
  Ah! How could I stray so far away from what I am? I am a mother to our children before I am a teacher in the academic sense. If they were enrolled in a traditional school they would not be doing school work. No, they would be cuddled on the couch and I would be watching over them and trying to make them as comfortable as possible. The teacher in me did not have time for sickness, but the mother in me would make sure they were well taken care of.
 Mothers. especially mothers that are stay at home moms/homeschooling moms, wear many, many, many different 'hats'. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that the most important  'hat' to wear, at all times, is that of mother!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Cake Pop Try Outs!

 If you know anything about me it's that I have several different fetishes...shoes, purses, bags, at one time even diaper bags. But my very favorite one of all would be cookbooks! I have always loved reading as a child. My mother was always particular not only about the content of the books I read but also the lay out. There is just something special about a well written book that is beautifully illustrated! I am the same way! When each one of our children were born I joined a children's book club. I looked for cute, practical and meaningfully written books whose pictures would also capture the child's attention and imagination.
  I think that is how I look at cook books.  I really didn't cook much before I was married. I helped my dad in the kitchen mostly....we were like the Lone Ranger and Tonto...we defeated the evilness of hunger with the wholesome goodness of GREAT food!
  I began collecting recipes off of the cans of Campbell soup and tucked them away in a cute little green recipe box...some of which I used quite a bit and others...welllll...maybe one day! I received my very first cook book as a wedding gift. It was a very thick Better Homes and Garden one. I used it so much that it is in segments. Definitely well loved!
  But my collection was actually started by my mother-in-law. One year for Christmas I made several different kinds of homemade cookies and wrapped them in festive packaging, including the recipe for each one along with the gift. the next year Debbie(my mother-in-law) bought me a Pampered Chef  pizza stone and a cook book by the name of 1,001 Cookie Recipes....I was hooked! I loved the colored photos and easy to follow layout! Once she found out, several more cook books followed! I have been collecting ever since!!
  When we lived in South Dakota I had a very small kitchen. I was starving for space! My cookbooks were all crammed in a cabinet. My husband and I brainstormed on what we could do to give me some more counter space. I came up with idea of putting up shelving above our stove to put our microwave...we added a shelf above that and wha~la! I found a new home and a way to display my beloved cook books!
  Now that we have moved to Missouri I am looking for that creative way to display my cook books, again! Right now I have my 'special' ones in a wooden crate on my 'big' counter...eventually I would love to find more crates to add to it so I can display the rest of my books and have them easily accessible.
  My newest addition to my collection is the Cake Pop recipe/how to book by Bakerella! I normally check out the book/magazine isle whenever I go grocery shopping. When I first laid eyes on the cover of her book there was an instant attraction! When I picked it up and looked through it...I was gone...hopelessly in love! The pictures, the layout, the instructions were everything a girl could want in a cookbook (I feel the same way about The Pioneer Woman's cookbook, too...love at first look through)
  I didn't buy it the first time I saw it, or the second, or the third....with 6 children there are just some things that are more important to buy :) But when Barry's parents sent me money for my birthday, I knew EXACTLY what I was going to buy....you guessed it....The Cake Pop book! I have had it in my possession for about 2 weeks now and every chance I get I pore over it...reading about the different techniques and recipes...and her pictures...just SO sweet and cute!! All I needed was the right occasion to make them. Ah! My birthday!! My husband and I have invited several couples to dine with us at a local Mexican restaurant for dinner tonight to celebrate me turning one year older. I got to thinking how funny it is that we go all out sometimes for party favors for children but not for adults. Sometimes it's just good to let your hair down and enjoy life! So I bought cupcake boxes, mini Reeces peanut butter cups,mini M&M's, and Teddy Bear Grahms..all to put in the bottom of the boxes. I got out my book and started making the cake pops (actually balls, without the sticks) I used a butter pecan flavored cake mix and cream cheese frosting. I bought pink and brown chocolate candies that you can melt. The pink candy did not turn out as smooth..some of the balls looked pretty rough...but the chocolate was allot easier to work with. I decorated the pink balls with chocolate accents and the chocolate balls with pink accents. The overall look was very pretty and dainty.
  Now time for the taste testing! I called out to my 6 children...they were game!!! Drum roll, please.....4 out 6 really liked them! I just had to try one...hmmm.....definitely sweet!, not too crazy about the texture though, but I'm weird like that, texture is just as important as the taste...I think I added too much frosting to the mix...but overall they are definitely worth making again!!! Then waiting for the ultimately taste testing judge to arrive home from work...because above all else, his opinion matters most! And he loves them!!!!!

Public Interaction

 Yesterday was our errand day. A day that is set aside every week to, well, run errands, go grocery shopping, and anything else that either needs to be done or just wants to be done. Since 3 out of 6 children have the chicken pox I decided to take our middle son with me. I thought it would be great to get to spend some one on one time with him!
  We had a breakfast date at McDonalds. Despite the nasty weather, I was surprised at how many people where there between the ages of 50 and 70+. There were also younger people, most of which were either talking on their phones, bluetooths, or texting. It just struck me how much technology  has evolved since I was a teenager. The different ways in which we can communicate with people all across the world is just amazing! Then something else caught my attention...with all of these devices we are using to communicate with we are neglecting the most important ones....verbal and physical communication with those that are right there around us. Yes, they may be strangers...but eye contact, a nice smile and a cheerful hello can change  some one's day for the better! You never know what someone else is going through! Being quite shy, myself, it hasn't always been easy to practice this! And when I have 6 children with me while I'm shopping or taking care of business I sometimes to forget to think of others in this way.
 A kind smile, a nod, or even just trying to stop and chat can have an impact on someone. I can think of times in my life when I was struggling with something..and even just to have a smile on my face was hard to do..but then some one went out of their way to say hi or pay some form of compliment and it lifted my spirits and helped me realize that what I was dealing with or going through was just a portion of my life and would eventually pass.
  While my son and I were eating an older woman had been watching us and began to comment on Levi's gentleman-like behavior. She bemoaned the fact that children and teenagers are so different than what they used to be in years gone by. My response; that allot of it had to do with their upbringing and parents. And it just made me think that we do not live and die to ourselves. It is very normal for people to stop and talk to me when I have 4 or more of our children with me...but never when I just have one or two. It made me realize that we all touch someone, some how and in some way.
  For the rest of the day I made it a point to smile at everyone and try to engage someone else in conversation. You know what I found out?! That it did me good! My heart felt full and some how happier. Even though I did not know these people by interacting with them it made a difference in my day! Though cold, cloudy, dark and rainy outside it felt like the sun was shining and the birds were singing!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What Memories Are Made Of

  This morning as I was in bed I started to think of my maternal grandfather, Hugh Fillingim. He passed away just before our 2nd son was born...that was over 12 years ago! I was unable to attend his funeral..but I did have the opportunity to visit with him in the hospital months before.
  My first memories of him make me smile!! When I was little we lived in apartments. My mom would take me with her over to his house to do our laundry. I remember he always had Tab or Mr.Pib for her. He also had Nutterbutters that he would share with me..for they were his favorite. Funny, I cannot stand peanut butter but to this day I love Nutterbutters!!!
  Papa was a smoker. And mom would tell me the evils of smoking and that I should share those with him for he might listen to me since I was little! One day while at his house, he was out, and my mother was busy in the laundry room. I walked into his den and saw his package of cigarettes on the coffee table. Since they were SO bad I began to take them out of the package one by one and break them in half...I think I might have been 3 or 4 at the time. When my mother came in and saw what I had done she just about had a fit!!! I find that quite funny now that I'm an adult. What did she expect me to do?!?! After all they were bad and could cause cancer...I was just helping him out!!!
 Papa planted a garden and grew sunflowers. I remember on one of these said laundry trips seeing a huge, black garbage bag in his kitchen full of sunflower seeds!
  He also had a neighbor by the name of Mrs.Duckwall. From what I can remember she wasn't the nicest neighbor, to a shy little girl was scary!!! Mrs.Duckwall had 2 little black and white dogs. I was not allowed to pet them when they were in her back yard. Well, you know how that goes! I stuck my little hand through the chain link fence and tried to pet one on the head....and while I did the other one lifted his leg and peed on my hand! Needless to say I never tried to pet them again!!
   My grandfather also liked to hunt. One day my cousin Jarrod and I were both there. It seems to me that maybe our mothers had gone out and we were spending the day with Papa. While he was busy my cousin went exploring in the house, something we didn't really do allot of. He cracked open the door to the laundry room and then told me he had found something I just HAD to come and see. So as I reluctantly followed him, my grandfather having been somewhere behind us, he threw open the door and to my utter horror there hung poor Bambi, upside down!!! My cousin was thrilled with my response as any boy is at that age! And then from out of no where I hear my Papa ask if we want to touch it!!! I just about passed out!!!
  Right outside the laundry room door hung a little rectangular 'box' on the wall. Sometimes it would make a little noise. Upon asking what it was my Papa told me that a little man lived inside of the box. I believed him!! When I  visited the house as a teenager I had to laugh at myself...it was an air freshener!!! But it just amazed that I never questioned him or asked to see the little man!!!
  When I started school my mom worked \for the public schools as a bus driver. She would drop me off at Papa's house early in the morning and he would take me to school. I remember watching the Captain America cartoon before school and thinking that I would marry him(Captain America) when I grew up!!! I suppose that is where my patriotism was born...lol.
  My grandparents were divorced before I was born. One day while at my house my mom was talking to my grandfather on the phone. She said he had a question that he wanted to ask me. I couldn't have been very old...probably 5 or 6. I remember him asking me if I wanted a new grandmother. To this day I can recollect the picture in my mind's eye. She was tall and slender with a black beehive hairdo and was very sweet and grandmotherly...so I instantly said that I would love to have a new grandmother. Boy was I shocked!! The woman he married was just about the opposite of what I had imagined...but that's another story!
  We moved away from Texas when I was 15. My mother asked me to write to him. She was concerned for his salvation and he would not talk to her about it saying that it was a personal matter. So over the year we would write back and forth. I was a summer missionary for CEF and while telling him all about what I was learning, he shared with me his testimony as a 12 year boy accepting Christ. he said that they didn't have baptismal pools in church so ever so often the ranchers would get together and they would baptize converts in a horse trough.
  My grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. I didn't know much about that part of his li\fe. I do know that my mother's oldest sister convinced him to go to AA and that my mom and her other siblings would go with him and support him. I also know that he touched many lives through AA and that he helped many other struggling men. He also would speak at public schools about his addiction and how he overcame it.
  Papa was also a WWII vet. He earned the Purple Heart. Reading through his memoirs you would never know that! He was a very humble man, never speaking highly of himself. He was a gunner on a transport ship and he does tell some stories of shooting down the Kamikazes which all I can assume is when he earned his Purple Heart. When his time of service was up he asked to re-enlist but was not able to because was flat footed. Just from reading his memoirs I think he was quite saddened and disappointed because he was good enough to draft to help fight the war but not good enough to keep afterwards....
  I am so thankful for the heritage that God has blessed me with! Life and people are not perfect....but we all touch someone....what memories are you leaving behind?!
 

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Home Education

 I have been asked by several people why we home educate our children. Today I have been doing research on the Waldorf approach and comparing it with the Charlotte Mason method. Then I sat back and asked myself exactly what...how....do I want to teach my children...which then lead me to the question of why do I home educate my children. I believe starting with the 'why' will help lead me to the 'how' and 'what'.
  I. myself, was not home educated. I spent most of my school years in the private school system. In grades 7th through 9th I was in public school. In high school I had 2 friends that were home schooled..one full time, the other went to school part of the week and the rest of the week worked on her studies at home. I was intrigued!!! I even asked my mom if she would consider teaching me at home. Unfortunately, I had younger brothers and sisters and she worked in the school office to help pay for our tuition and books at the private school. I found boys to be very distracting and most girls to be catty and fickle. I knew I wanted more for my children!! After graduating from high school (my younger siblings being in middle school) I came across an article that was given to my mom concerning the influences that a teacher has on his/her students. The teacher is with the student(s) almost 8 hours or more a day...therefore the teacher's attitudes, character traits both good and bad, and beliefs will begin to effect the life of the child. This concerned me. I could not be sure that what I would be teaching and training my children at home would not be undermined at school. While just 19 years old I determined that I would home educate my children based on those facts alone. The longer I have home educated my children the more I have come across disturbing statistics that just deepened my reasons for doing this.
  The percentage of illiterates, teen pregnancies, suicides, killings, premarital intercourse, crime, etc have sky rocketed since taking Bible and prayer out of our classrooms. Why would anyone want to put their children in such a sess pool? It is time to start thinking outside the box of education!!! The government's system is tearing down our homes and ruining our children's lives! We as Americans are more interested in material things than the spiritual welfare of our children. Education just doesn't effect the mind, but also the heart and soul. If done properly children will grow into mature, responsible, well rounded. well balanced individuals. Isn't that what we would like?! That is my goal!!
  Home education is not for the faint hearted (though you may experience that from time to time). It is for the strong in spirit that want more for our children..that want more for America and that want more for God!!!
   Why do you home educate?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Forgiveness

  Forgiveness is a powerful word....it is a powerful act.

It is easy to forgive those that we love or those that love us in return......But what about those that we aren't close to? Or that continually hurt us? Or those that we don't 'care' for?

  What exactly is forgiveness??? I used to think that when you forgave someone that you should be able to pick up where you left off and everything would be just fine. I know not quite realistic...but I am an idealist. It is always how I have forgiven others...until 'recently'. I could not reconcile my definition of forgiveness when it was impossible to continue the relationship....then my very logical husband reminded me that different trespasses come with different consequences.  I needed to take a closer look at forgiveness. I know that as a Christian I am commanded to forgive those..any and all...that offend....that's fine when it's an 'easy' thing to do..... But I found myself in a delima....the offense was so great and so deep that I didn't feel that the offending party warranted forgiveness. Horrible, I know... But it brought me to a place where I needed to search out the truth of God's meaning of forgiveness.
   I had told the offending party they were forgiven...I told myself that I had forgiven them...I begged God to help me forgive them....but I still felt hurt and betrayed and angry. So how can you forgive and still feel those things?  I came to the place where I wanted to forgive them but it felt so beyond my reach. I knew God would not hear or answer my prayers...I knew that I would grow cold and bitter and carry needless baggage. So I began to pray that God would help me....that He would show me how and that I would feel that peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)
  Our Sunday school teacher had been teaching on love (oh...my favorite subject :) And my husband just happened to be in the class with me due to laryngitis.  I thought this was going to be good!!! But God knew that I needed this lesson more than my husband....and it was not to be on love but the opposite of love...bitterness. He told us that the way to overcome bitterness is forgiveness. I was all ears!!! He said that forgiveness is a process. He took us Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as Gd for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
  We are to be kind to the offending party. Easy? I think not!!! But God says in Matthew 5:44 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.'  Joseph (from the Old Testament) set the perfect example!! His brothers hated him, sold him into slavery, his master's wife falsely accused him, he wa then thrown into prison for years and then forgot about by everyone...everyone except for God!
  Joseph realized that judgement (to get even) was not his to execute but Gods! Genesis 50:19 'And Joseph said unto them,(his brothers..the offending party) Fear not: for am I in the place of God?' Romans 12:17 a says 'Recompense to no man evil for evil. vs 19-21 'Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.'
  Joseph was able to see God's soverign hand in all that he went through. Genesis 50:20 'But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.'  He was able to trust God enough to know that there was a bigger picture.  And Joseph was able to show genuine love and concern for those who had abused and mistreated him. Genesis 50:21 'Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And hecomforted them, and spake kindly unto them.'
  You cannot begin to forgive unless you have a tender heart...you will not have a tender heart towards someone until you show them kindness! Show knidness, followed by prayer while seeking a tender heart and nocus on forgiveness.No one canthose things and be bitter at the same time! Joseph had many oppurtunities to feed the fire of hatred and bitterness, but he decided, instead, to have the correct response...he left the judgement in God's hands. How could he do this? He was close to God!!!
  He chose not to focus on the hurt or loneliness but on the goodness of God...he chose to completely and utterly trust God. Joseph knew about grace!!!!! For alll of this takes grace and a great amount of it!!!
   So now that I have realized that though I may never be able to be close to those that hurt me...I can be kind...I can be tenderhearted...and I can and will forgive them!!!! God's grace is all sufficient!!! God chose to forgive me....I can choose to forgive others...and so can you!!!!!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Remodeling

  I love remodeling-redecorating! Like they say 'Out with the old, in with the new!' We have just moved from South Dakota to Missouri so our house is just waiting for that special touch to make it into a home! For years now I have been collecting wall paper and border waiting for just the right room to use it in.
 A few months ago my husband had to work out of town and I told myself I would find a project to occupy my time instead of pining for him! My laundry room was the perfect place to start. It is small, only 4'x8' and in desparate need of a woman's touch....with a white washer and dryer with stark white walls....color was needed!!! With the help of my children I painted the walls Highland Dales (which I would liken to a dark chocolate milkshake color).  Now to add the border and some decore'. I even changed the position of the washer and dryer...instead of having one in each corner facing out I angled them diagonally from each corner not only making them easier to access but also giving it a nicer look.
  The laundry room is located right off of our family room...so when I sit on our couch I can see it out of the corner of my eye. I had been running errands one day and came in and just sat down for a moment to catch my breath. As I was looking at the room and thinking of the time I spent fixing it up God brought something to mind. Just as I enjoy decorating or redecorating or remodeling so God likes to do that in our lives and hearts. Sometimes it is necessary for Him to show us things we need to get rid of as shown in Hebrews 12:1 'Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.' It isn't always easy...in fact quite the contrary. But if we allow the Lord to do the remodelling in our hearts it will be well worth it! And as my laundry room brings me satisfaction of a job well done and is pleasant to look at (for me) so we will be to the Lord! 'For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.' Ephesians 2:10

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What Is In Your Special Box?

When I was in highschool our youth pastor showed a video in Sunday school  one morning. A rose was passed around the room and everyone took one petal. When it got down to the front every petal was gone. It went from a beautiful rose to something that looked sad and used up. The analogy was made that everytime you are 'with' someone (either intimately or emotionally) you give a little bit (or alot) of yourself away to that person. It's funny that I remember that one lesson out of the four years I was in the youth group...that was 20 years ago...it made a big impression. My momma also told me that when ever you kiss someone, you are kissing everyone they've kissed......GROSS!!!!!!!! Parents use funny scare tactics sometimes!
  Barry and I want to raise our children with a different perspective of dating and relationships than what we had. We want to take it to the 'next level' so to speak...the best level, actually...the Biblical level. God began dealing with our hearts to teach our children (which we only had 3 at the time) not to play the dating game. It has ruined SO many lives!! There is alot of pressure from the world to have a boyfriend or girlfriend at such early ages. Why would we want our children to focus on this? Look at the divorce rate, teen pregnancy, and the amount of abortions...dating is just laying the floor plan for these unnecessary tragedies.
   One day the Lord brought something to mind....kindof expounding on the 'rose' concept. You only have ONE first kiss....ONE first time that you hold hands...ONE first hug....and ONE first 'time'. Most people know where the Bible stands on the latter one...but what about the others? Read ICorinthians ch 7. It would be  good to look up S.M.Davis and get his messages on courtship and dating! But this is what I came up with. Your heart is like a very special box. And everyone has been given these very special 'first things' that are in your special box. Who are you going to give them away to? You can only give them away once!!!! We are encouraging each one of our children to give them to their spouse on their wedding day! Can you imagine having saved EVERYTHING for your spouse instead of just one thing? 
  What if you haven't?!  Repent and ask God's forgiveness and make a covenant with Him that from this day forward you will save yourself for your spouse! And God will give you back the years that the locusts have eaten!!!

Monday, August 1, 2011

My Love Story part 5

My friend Becky and I left the radio station first. We went to her house and waited for her husband and Barry to arrive. I was very nervous and praying all would go well! When the men arrived we all seated ourselves in their living room. It was mostly small talk and then Becky and Dwayne excused themselves so that Barry and I could have some time to talk. Then the interviewing began!!!! We were both asking each other questions concerning our salvation and our standards..as well as that very important question...'Have you saved yourself for your spouse?' It is quite funny that I had completely forgotten about those 2 times during my senoir year that God told me to pray for my husband's purity. We both agreed that we did not want to date. This was for keeps! We both agreed that the Lord had brought us together (I was NOT about to tell him that God told me he was the one for me...that was just too presumptuous!!) and that after questioning each other in detail we were certain that we were being led of the Lord to pursue a relationship.
  We started talking to each other after church services...and he would call me in the evenings (he would drive 30 minutes from base...Camp leJeune...and talk to me from a pay phone) and we had him over for Sunday dinner once or twice(before my dad was home for good). My Momma and I were keeping my Daddy up to date with all of the details. My brothers (especially Jon) were SO funny!! Our family always holds hands when we say the blessing over our meals...Jon always made sure that either him or one of my other siblings were sitting in between Barry and I so we wouldn't hold hands!!! I was very thankful for their protection of me!!!
  My Dad surprised us one weekend by coming home unannounced. I was looking forward to introducing Barry to him...but not for the reason you might be thinking! Barry seemed almost too good to be true!! He seemed very honest and sincere, a true gentleman (always getting the door for me or any other lady), polite, etc. While in high school we had a rule at our house when someone wanted to take me or my step-sister out on a date...they had to call my dad and not only ask his permission but go through grilling! When my Dad first put this into effect we were horrified...then we started enjoying it...at least I did!!! And I was ready for my Dad to put Barry through this! I wanted to see what he was made of!!! So after church, Barry came up to me and my Dad and I introduced them...then the unexpected happened...before I could do or say anything my dad said, 'You have my blessingl.' I was absolutely shocked...then wondering what on earth Barry thought I must have told my Dad! My parents had always reassured us that my Dad was a good judge of character...and he was always right...but this was just NOT how I wanted things to go!!! I wanted my Dad to make him sweat!!!!
   Well, the rest is history!!!
  But what about the 2 different times that God told me to pray for his purity...well fast forward a few years. We courted for a year, were engaged for a year (waiting to marry when his service was up in the Marines) We moved to Pennsylvania and joined the church where he grew up. We helped out on the bus route, in Jr.Church, I was a monitor in the school he went to. Then the Lord blessed us with Rex!!! When I was about a month or 2 along we went to visit Barry's biological mom at a camp ground near Gettysburg. PA. I started asking him about his service in Okinawa,Japan. Then we started to do the math...when he was over there I was beginning my senior year! Then the Lord brought those 2 times to mind. I started asking him if he ever had any temptations while he was over there (he wasn't saved at the time) He then began to tell me that the guys would always tease him about his purity and when out on the town they would try to pressure him but he always stood his ground. He said that on 2 different occassions he told himself before they went out that he didn't care anymore...if the situation presented itself, then so be it! And it never did!  They would always see women of ill repute...except for those 2 times that he threw caution to the wind...the 2 times that God told me...a young lady thousands of miles away...to pray for her husband's purity! And I did..not knowing who he was or were he was. I fervently prayed that God would put a hedge of protection about him and keep him pure for me...and he did!!!!!!!!!! And God will hear and answer your prayers, too!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

My Love Story part 4

The weeks between the time when the Lord told me Barry was the one and when we actually met were very interesting! My Pastor's wife encouraged me to join the choir and to sing with other ladies when given the oppurtunity (which I did). My Mom and I also went on ladie's visitation on Thursday mornings (sometimes the conversation afterwards would turn to 'setting' me up with someone...ugh!!)
  The funny thing is, Barry sat in front of our family at church. One Sunday morning after church my Momma turned to me and said, 'He (referring to Barry) has a nice, firm handshake and he always looks you in the eye.' I just playfully rolled my eyes and chuckled :) I told her there was more to a man than that but I did tuck that bit of information away :)
  There was a small BBQ restaurant that also served frozen icecream (I think the name is Smithfield's) that many of us would patronize after church. Sometimes Barry would be there with my friend and her husband.  He always seemed polite and respectful.
  One Thursday, while on visitation, my friend asked me what I thought of Barry. My first reaction was one of exasperation...not outwardly but inwardly. So many people had asked me what I thought of this man or that man...and just recently my Pastor's wife had asked me what I thought of Barry, as well. How are you supposed to answer a question like that? Then I recalled something he had said in his testimony...that after accepting Jesus Christ as his Saviour he got rid of over $3000.00 worth of Country music cds. That really piqued my interest. Throughout highschool my best friend and I tried that so many times...but the only alternative was contemporary Christian music and it wasn't very appealing. I had NEVER heard of a  man doing that. SO I told her about that and that it would be interestig to talk to him about it. I still was not interested in him.
  That following Saturday night was a meeting for the radio staff and anyone that wanted to be involved in the Fall Sharathon. Barry was there....afterwards I was in the kitchen, helping clean up. My friend rushed in there and pulled me to the side, quite excited about something!! She was my closest friend so I would share with her different things that the Lord was showing me in my spiritual walk as well as my list of what I did and didn't want in a husband. She proceeded to tell me that the Lord had been dealing with Barry concerning some of the exact things! I just looked at her ever so patiently and smiled. But on the inside I couldn't believe it!!! I didn't want anyone to know what God had revealed to me!!! But it seemed like we were being drawn closer together all the time.
  The next Sunday I recieved a call from her and she was so excited I could hardly understand her....Barry wanted to meet me!! Ack!!!! I talked to my Mom and we got a hold of my Dad (he was finishing up the last few months of his Service in DC) We had their permission to meet! I had been telling my Dad about everything (except that Barry was the one for me :) And my Mom had been telling him things as well...what...I will never know!
  We were to meet at Smithfield's that night after church. My family arrived there before he did...and the only table left was a long one in the center of the restaurant...oh, great! We are going to be on display in front of all these people from church..so not how I had envisioned our meeting!! Well, my friend Becky came and sat beside me while Barry and her husband sat at the other end by my brothers. Talk about nerve racking! Becky leaned over and whispered that maybe we should try a different time so it wouldn't be so public. I very readily agreed!
  The Fall Sharathon began the next day and went through the whole week. It was a very busy time! Some of the preachers that we featured on our station were there as well as others. People were there answering phones and taking pledges. I worked in the studio as well as at the phones. It was a wonderful experience!! That Thursday morning I was in the studio, minding my own business, and for some reason I happened to look up and there was Barry with his friend Dwayne (my friend's husband) standing outside the studio door. I could feel the color rise in my face and I started shaking...this is going to be interesting I thought! My turn was up in the studio so I went out in the lobby to answer phones...and Barry was there. I was very thankful for the room being full of other people!!! There was a young boy there that he was talking to so it was neat to watch him interact with a child. We even conversed a little..about what?...I have no idea! I was SO nervous!!! Becky told me that if it was ok with my parents that I could just spend the day and that evening we would all go to their house and officially be introduced.

  to be continued

Thursday, July 28, 2011

My Love Story part 3

I find it fascinatng how God moves and works. My brother that is closest to me in age and myself are quite shy. We are very routine oriented. We do not like change. So moving to North Carolina wasn't the easiest for us, especially when it came to looking for a new church. My parents found one in Morehead City and we visited. Like I said, it was much smaller than the one we had been attending...and there were not many people my age. The next service our parents were discussing visiting another one...and for some 'weird' reason the both of us convinced them to go back to Grace Baptist. I suppose maybe our parents felt sorry for us, or something... I believe it is the 'something' or should I say Someone that was leading my parents and our family to this church!
  My Dad was still in Washington DC finishing up the last few months of his service. It was summertime and there wasn't alot to do. My brother and I would take bike rides through the tobacco field at the end of our housing development. In the back of my mind was the nagging thought that I was going to grow old and live with my parents for the rest of my life...ugh!!!
  Then one afternoon God brought a little saying to mind that one of my teachers at CEF (Child Evangelism Fellowship) camp had mentioned in a class...'When in a fix, read Phillipians 4:6'. So I got out my Bible and looked up that verse, and  verse 7  and they changed everything for me! The Bible says 'Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.' I had been very full of care! I had always wanted to get married at the age of 18 like my Mom. It was time for me to let go of what I wanted and just rest and wait on God!!
  So I decided that everytime I would worry or even think of marrying I would quote these 2 verses and leave it in God's hands! I also started praying for my future mate and that God would prepare us both for our life together. Meanwhile, I became involved in the radio ministry at our church (FBN). I took the next days broadcasts and recorded them into the system...It was a great time of spriritual growth! I also worked on a bus route and helped one of my friends in her Sunday School class.
  Then one Sunday evening several people joined the church. They were standing in front and giving their testimonies. When a certain young man gave his, the Holy Spirit told me that he was 'The One'....like Sarah, Abraham's wife, I laughed and thought 'Ya, right!!!'  And God proved He knew best!!!!
  When I was praying for my husband I had someone pictured like my Dad, 6 ft!!! I wrestled with this! He didn't look like my Dad at all!!!!
  I had been corresponding with a friend from school who was also praying for a godly mate. A few days after this 'revelation' I recieved a letter from her. She told me she had met someone and went on to describe his character and how he loved the Lord and was involved in his church. Then she said something that just astounded me...she said she couldn't get passed his looks! I couldn't believe what I had just read!! He sounded wonderful!! Then the Lord smote my heart and said I was being the same way! I was telling God no because Barry didn't look just like my Dad. I repented and told God...'Alright...if he is the one, then You orchestrate it all! I'm not having anything to do with this...It's ALL You, Lord!'

   to be continued....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My Love Story part 2

  My Senior year started out like any other person's, I suppose. We were all excited...making plans... My step dad was getting ready to retire from the Navy so there were alot of changes coming my way.
  I started a notebook, a list of sorts of what I wanted in a husband and what I didn't want. I also would cut and paste pictures of wedding dresses and bride's maid dresses along with engagement rings and great places to honeymoon. I never showed the book to anyone....well I am sure my little sister probably saw me working on it a time or two :)
 Most of the guys I knew were not what I would have considered husband/father material. So as I made my list I went by alot of the character qualities I saw in my step dad...I wanted a man of integrity, a gentleman, one who honored his parents, was a dedicated Christian, honest, trustworthy....and I also put some physical traits as well...he had to be older, have dark hair, blue eyes and I wanted someone that was taller than I was. What I didn't want....the thing that stands out most in my mind is rebellious, disrespectful and dishonorable. I wish I still had that list...Ashlynn found it when she was 1 and had a hay day tearing up the pages :)
  I didn't date anyone that year...I think we were all just too busy planning our lives...but I remember 2 VERY specific times when coming home from school...as I walked in my bedroom with my backpack slung over my shoulder God greatly burdened my heart to pray for my husband's purity. I remember standing in the middle of my room and thinking...'But, I'm not even seeing anyone and you want me to pray for this  person?!?! And I remember God telling me, "If this is that important to you then you need to get on your knees and pray RIGHT NOW!!!!' And I did. I knelt beside my bed and prayed...I said, 'Lord, I don't know who he is or where he is, but You do. I pray that you would put a hedge of protection about him and keep him pure for me.' This happened on 2 different occasions during my senior year. I didn't tell anyone..just kept it to myself and then as my Daddy neared his retirement and we made plans to move and I forgot all about it.
  We were living on Andrew's AFB in Washington DC during my high school years. I loved the city and all the wonderful sights and sounds. I loved shopping and boy were there places to shop! DC, Maryland and Virginia were just full of malls!!!! I loved being active in the Ensemble' in my youth group, I also helped out alot at my school. My life was so full....then we moved to the coast North Carolina...and boy was that a shock!!!!
  We went from  attending a church of 2,000 to a church of 200...we lived in a rural community. I remember how hard it was to fall asleep at night due to the lack of noise!! Imagine that!!! But I was used to hearing jets and sirens and traffic...they had been replaced by crickets and tree fogs.... There were not very many girls my age at church..and shopping...HA!!!! The 'mall' was an hour away and pretty pitiful to what I had known before. Life was definitely different! There were only a few single men in church....and I thought, I honestly thought I was going to wither up into an old maid!

 To be continued

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My Love Story part 1

I am a romantic.... I really enjoy asking couples how they met. Personally, I think that my love story is rather special.
 My parents were not Christians when they met and married. Thankfully the Lord saved my Mom when I was 2. My parents divorced when I was in the 4th grade. I can remember that day like it happened yesterday. When I was at the wonderful age of 13 my Mom married what I thought was a knight in shining armour! My step-dad and I didn't quite see eye to eye at the beginning but he won my heart and has been my daddy ever since.
  Ever since I was a little girl I remember always dreaming of getting married and having children...being a wife and mother were something that seemed like the greatest thing on earth to be.
  I don't want to get too personal but you need to know a little bit of our family's background. My mom was a second generation divorcee....most of the men and women in our family were sexually active by their early to late teens. Due to what happened to my mother's marriage she stressed SO often to do things God's way. Save yourself for marriage, make sure you marry a Christian...and she would always quote a verse from the Bible about the 'bed being undefiled'.
 I dated quite a bit through Junior High and High School. As you can imagine I received alot of pressure to give myself away. In High School, only 16, I got pretty serious with someone...he was 18. My mother was not crazy about it but my 'Daddy' (aka step father) said that it was all a part of growing up. He set some pretty high standards that he even got ribbed about from some of his closest frineds at church. Things didn't work out but through all the circumstances God used it to open my eyes and heart.
 Once it got around school that I was saving myself for my husband I didn't get asked out on too many dates. Which wasn't so bad...but I spent alot of 'lonely' nights at home. On one of these said lonely nights I was siting in our dining room after everyone had gone to bed. With the house quiet and just pondering some things a family member, younger than I, had been involved in my heart was heavy. I guess you could say that God opened my eyes that night to a pattern in our family. I would call it a family curse. There were not too many girls(or guys) that had graduated from high school still a virgin. God brought me to a crossroads that night. I only had one more year of high school left....I could be the first one in three generations of great-aunts, aunts and uncles, first and second cousins to graduate a virgin!
  But this wasn't good enough for me!! I wasn't going to go through all the 'hassle' and not get anything in return! Before I knew the verse in the Bible that tells us we can 'come boldly before the throne of grace', I did. And VERY bold I felt....which is very out of character for me! That night I told God that I would keep myself pure and in return I wanted to marry a man that had done the same!!! When sharing this with my best friend at the time, she had no problem letting me know that I was unrealistic to expect such a thing in our day and time! But I did not let that deter me! I knew what God wanted me to do and I knew what I wanted in return!!!!!
  To be cont........

Monday, July 25, 2011

What Is Your Bible?

My Bible is always on my nightstand. It is there every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. I like it within reach so that if I have a sleepless night I can turn my lamp on and grab it and find comfort from it.
  This morning when I was making my bed I noticed there were 2 books on top of my Bible. Oh, no!!! Beause I NEVER set anything on top of my Bible, God's Holy Word. The 2 offending books were a recently bought cookbook and a tea party book. I have been 'devouring' the cookbook since I bought it over a month ago! I have been telling all my friends and aquaintences about it. It is just awesome!!! The tea party book I just received in the mail a few days ago. The girls have been begging me to have a tea party with them for years. So I looked around on Amazon and bought 2 books to give us some ideas. The illistrations look like they are right out of a little girl's dreams...English gardens, wicker furniture, china, small furry kittens, etc. The information is great and lends itself to be slightly on the sentimental side...right up my alley :) The recipes look so dainty and delightful...perfect for little girls..and big ones.
  Then I realized that they have taken the place of my Bible-they're right there- within reach-and I have been so excited as I look through them and plan exciting meals and fun times for our family.
  Wow!! I should be this excited about my Bible! When did these take the place of the most precious book in the world?!?
  I love cookbooks! I love cooking and baking, especially for my family...it is relaxing, comforting and can be healing. But just as food is important to the health and happiness of my family-so my Bible is to me...it is sustenance for the soul, for my spiritual health and happiness!
  And the tea party book!! I have found a new passion :) It shows how you can set a fine table for friends and family-sharing special time and conversation-bonding with my daughters. Isn't that what God wants with each and every one of us? A special place to meet with us and bond. He wants a close relationship with his children. If only we...if only I could share with others the special things that Christ has shown me through His Word  like I do when I come across a great recipe!!!

(this was taken from one of my journal entries ; written in January of 2011)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Would I Get A Raise?

My husband just started a new job.(for those of you who do not know us it was because we just moved to Missouri) He came up for his 90 day review and was told by their Human Resources Director that he was one of the best workers that they have hired in a long time and after his coworkers were questioned about his work ethic they all said he has a very upbeat attitude, works hard and never complains about the jobs he is given. He was given a substantial raise! We had been praying for this and we were so very thankful that God blessed.
  Barry called me with this news and I was overjoyed, as you can imagine. But I couldn't help thinking what would my Human Resources Director say about me? If my 'coworkers' which would be my 6 children and husband were questioned about my work ethic? I was cut to the quick! Our home stays tidy, every once in a while the laundry piles up....but what about my attitude? OUCH!! I can recall being put out with something Barry has asked me to do on more than one occasion. And I do not always fill our home with laughter or singing. My husband on the other hand ALWAYS has a song on his lips or is whistling! Do I get along with my coworkers? Yes, I know they are my children but still....it truly gave me pause. It made me stop and evaluate myself through God's eyes, through His Word of what I am supposed to be, how I am to run our home, what my attitude should be!
  I am SO thankful that God loves me enough to bring things to mind like this. And that His grace and His Word are sufficient to help me make our home a better 'work place'.