If you know anything about me it's that I have several different fetishes...shoes, purses, bags, at one time even diaper bags. But my very favorite one of all would be cookbooks! I have always loved reading as a child. My mother was always particular not only about the content of the books I read but also the lay out. There is just something special about a well written book that is beautifully illustrated! I am the same way! When each one of our children were born I joined a children's book club. I looked for cute, practical and meaningfully written books whose pictures would also capture the child's attention and imagination.
I think that is how I look at cook books. I really didn't cook much before I was married. I helped my dad in the kitchen mostly....we were like the Lone Ranger and Tonto...we defeated the evilness of hunger with the wholesome goodness of GREAT food!
I began collecting recipes off of the cans of Campbell soup and tucked them away in a cute little green recipe box...some of which I used quite a bit and others...welllll...maybe one day! I received my very first cook book as a wedding gift. It was a very thick Better Homes and Garden one. I used it so much that it is in segments. Definitely well loved!
But my collection was actually started by my mother-in-law. One year for Christmas I made several different kinds of homemade cookies and wrapped them in festive packaging, including the recipe for each one along with the gift. the next year Debbie(my mother-in-law) bought me a Pampered Chef pizza stone and a cook book by the name of 1,001 Cookie Recipes....I was hooked! I loved the colored photos and easy to follow layout! Once she found out, several more cook books followed! I have been collecting ever since!!
When we lived in South Dakota I had a very small kitchen. I was starving for space! My cookbooks were all crammed in a cabinet. My husband and I brainstormed on what we could do to give me some more counter space. I came up with idea of putting up shelving above our stove to put our microwave...we added a shelf above that and wha~la! I found a new home and a way to display my beloved cook books!
Now that we have moved to Missouri I am looking for that creative way to display my cook books, again! Right now I have my 'special' ones in a wooden crate on my 'big' counter...eventually I would love to find more crates to add to it so I can display the rest of my books and have them easily accessible.
My newest addition to my collection is the Cake Pop recipe/how to book by Bakerella! I normally check out the book/magazine isle whenever I go grocery shopping. When I first laid eyes on the cover of her book there was an instant attraction! When I picked it up and looked through it...I was gone...hopelessly in love! The pictures, the layout, the instructions were everything a girl could want in a cookbook (I feel the same way about The Pioneer Woman's cookbook, too...love at first look through)
I didn't buy it the first time I saw it, or the second, or the third....with 6 children there are just some things that are more important to buy :) But when Barry's parents sent me money for my birthday, I knew EXACTLY what I was going to buy....you guessed it....The Cake Pop book! I have had it in my possession for about 2 weeks now and every chance I get I pore over it...reading about the different techniques and recipes...and her pictures...just SO sweet and cute!! All I needed was the right occasion to make them. Ah! My birthday!! My husband and I have invited several couples to dine with us at a local Mexican restaurant for dinner tonight to celebrate me turning one year older. I got to thinking how funny it is that we go all out sometimes for party favors for children but not for adults. Sometimes it's just good to let your hair down and enjoy life! So I bought cupcake boxes, mini Reeces peanut butter cups,mini M&M's, and Teddy Bear Grahms..all to put in the bottom of the boxes. I got out my book and started making the cake pops (actually balls, without the sticks) I used a butter pecan flavored cake mix and cream cheese frosting. I bought pink and brown chocolate candies that you can melt. The pink candy did not turn out as smooth..some of the balls looked pretty rough...but the chocolate was allot easier to work with. I decorated the pink balls with chocolate accents and the chocolate balls with pink accents. The overall look was very pretty and dainty.
Now time for the taste testing! I called out to my 6 children...they were game!!! Drum roll, please.....4 out 6 really liked them! I just had to try one...hmmm.....definitely sweet!, not too crazy about the texture though, but I'm weird like that, texture is just as important as the taste...I think I added too much frosting to the mix...but overall they are definitely worth making again!!! Then waiting for the ultimately taste testing judge to arrive home from work...because above all else, his opinion matters most! And he loves them!!!!!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Public Interaction
Yesterday was our errand day. A day that is set aside every week to, well, run errands, go grocery shopping, and anything else that either needs to be done or just wants to be done. Since 3 out of 6 children have the chicken pox I decided to take our middle son with me. I thought it would be great to get to spend some one on one time with him!
We had a breakfast date at McDonalds. Despite the nasty weather, I was surprised at how many people where there between the ages of 50 and 70+. There were also younger people, most of which were either talking on their phones, bluetooths, or texting. It just struck me how much technology has evolved since I was a teenager. The different ways in which we can communicate with people all across the world is just amazing! Then something else caught my attention...with all of these devices we are using to communicate with we are neglecting the most important ones....verbal and physical communication with those that are right there around us. Yes, they may be strangers...but eye contact, a nice smile and a cheerful hello can change some one's day for the better! You never know what someone else is going through! Being quite shy, myself, it hasn't always been easy to practice this! And when I have 6 children with me while I'm shopping or taking care of business I sometimes to forget to think of others in this way.
A kind smile, a nod, or even just trying to stop and chat can have an impact on someone. I can think of times in my life when I was struggling with something..and even just to have a smile on my face was hard to do..but then some one went out of their way to say hi or pay some form of compliment and it lifted my spirits and helped me realize that what I was dealing with or going through was just a portion of my life and would eventually pass.
While my son and I were eating an older woman had been watching us and began to comment on Levi's gentleman-like behavior. She bemoaned the fact that children and teenagers are so different than what they used to be in years gone by. My response; that allot of it had to do with their upbringing and parents. And it just made me think that we do not live and die to ourselves. It is very normal for people to stop and talk to me when I have 4 or more of our children with me...but never when I just have one or two. It made me realize that we all touch someone, some how and in some way.
For the rest of the day I made it a point to smile at everyone and try to engage someone else in conversation. You know what I found out?! That it did me good! My heart felt full and some how happier. Even though I did not know these people by interacting with them it made a difference in my day! Though cold, cloudy, dark and rainy outside it felt like the sun was shining and the birds were singing!
We had a breakfast date at McDonalds. Despite the nasty weather, I was surprised at how many people where there between the ages of 50 and 70+. There were also younger people, most of which were either talking on their phones, bluetooths, or texting. It just struck me how much technology has evolved since I was a teenager. The different ways in which we can communicate with people all across the world is just amazing! Then something else caught my attention...with all of these devices we are using to communicate with we are neglecting the most important ones....verbal and physical communication with those that are right there around us. Yes, they may be strangers...but eye contact, a nice smile and a cheerful hello can change some one's day for the better! You never know what someone else is going through! Being quite shy, myself, it hasn't always been easy to practice this! And when I have 6 children with me while I'm shopping or taking care of business I sometimes to forget to think of others in this way.
A kind smile, a nod, or even just trying to stop and chat can have an impact on someone. I can think of times in my life when I was struggling with something..and even just to have a smile on my face was hard to do..but then some one went out of their way to say hi or pay some form of compliment and it lifted my spirits and helped me realize that what I was dealing with or going through was just a portion of my life and would eventually pass.
While my son and I were eating an older woman had been watching us and began to comment on Levi's gentleman-like behavior. She bemoaned the fact that children and teenagers are so different than what they used to be in years gone by. My response; that allot of it had to do with their upbringing and parents. And it just made me think that we do not live and die to ourselves. It is very normal for people to stop and talk to me when I have 4 or more of our children with me...but never when I just have one or two. It made me realize that we all touch someone, some how and in some way.
For the rest of the day I made it a point to smile at everyone and try to engage someone else in conversation. You know what I found out?! That it did me good! My heart felt full and some how happier. Even though I did not know these people by interacting with them it made a difference in my day! Though cold, cloudy, dark and rainy outside it felt like the sun was shining and the birds were singing!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
What Memories Are Made Of
This morning as I was in bed I started to think of my maternal grandfather, Hugh Fillingim. He passed away just before our 2nd son was born...that was over 12 years ago! I was unable to attend his funeral..but I did have the opportunity to visit with him in the hospital months before.
My first memories of him make me smile!! When I was little we lived in apartments. My mom would take me with her over to his house to do our laundry. I remember he always had Tab or Mr.Pib for her. He also had Nutterbutters that he would share with me..for they were his favorite. Funny, I cannot stand peanut butter but to this day I love Nutterbutters!!!
Papa was a smoker. And mom would tell me the evils of smoking and that I should share those with him for he might listen to me since I was little! One day while at his house, he was out, and my mother was busy in the laundry room. I walked into his den and saw his package of cigarettes on the coffee table. Since they were SO bad I began to take them out of the package one by one and break them in half...I think I might have been 3 or 4 at the time. When my mother came in and saw what I had done she just about had a fit!!! I find that quite funny now that I'm an adult. What did she expect me to do?!?! After all they were bad and could cause cancer...I was just helping him out!!!
Papa planted a garden and grew sunflowers. I remember on one of these said laundry trips seeing a huge, black garbage bag in his kitchen full of sunflower seeds!
He also had a neighbor by the name of Mrs.Duckwall. From what I can remember she wasn't the nicest neighbor, to a shy little girl was scary!!! Mrs.Duckwall had 2 little black and white dogs. I was not allowed to pet them when they were in her back yard. Well, you know how that goes! I stuck my little hand through the chain link fence and tried to pet one on the head....and while I did the other one lifted his leg and peed on my hand! Needless to say I never tried to pet them again!!
My grandfather also liked to hunt. One day my cousin Jarrod and I were both there. It seems to me that maybe our mothers had gone out and we were spending the day with Papa. While he was busy my cousin went exploring in the house, something we didn't really do allot of. He cracked open the door to the laundry room and then told me he had found something I just HAD to come and see. So as I reluctantly followed him, my grandfather having been somewhere behind us, he threw open the door and to my utter horror there hung poor Bambi, upside down!!! My cousin was thrilled with my response as any boy is at that age! And then from out of no where I hear my Papa ask if we want to touch it!!! I just about passed out!!!
Right outside the laundry room door hung a little rectangular 'box' on the wall. Sometimes it would make a little noise. Upon asking what it was my Papa told me that a little man lived inside of the box. I believed him!! When I visited the house as a teenager I had to laugh at myself...it was an air freshener!!! But it just amazed that I never questioned him or asked to see the little man!!!
When I started school my mom worked \for the public schools as a bus driver. She would drop me off at Papa's house early in the morning and he would take me to school. I remember watching the Captain America cartoon before school and thinking that I would marry him(Captain America) when I grew up!!! I suppose that is where my patriotism was born...lol.
My grandparents were divorced before I was born. One day while at my house my mom was talking to my grandfather on the phone. She said he had a question that he wanted to ask me. I couldn't have been very old...probably 5 or 6. I remember him asking me if I wanted a new grandmother. To this day I can recollect the picture in my mind's eye. She was tall and slender with a black beehive hairdo and was very sweet and grandmotherly...so I instantly said that I would love to have a new grandmother. Boy was I shocked!! The woman he married was just about the opposite of what I had imagined...but that's another story!
We moved away from Texas when I was 15. My mother asked me to write to him. She was concerned for his salvation and he would not talk to her about it saying that it was a personal matter. So over the year we would write back and forth. I was a summer missionary for CEF and while telling him all about what I was learning, he shared with me his testimony as a 12 year boy accepting Christ. he said that they didn't have baptismal pools in church so ever so often the ranchers would get together and they would baptize converts in a horse trough.
My grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. I didn't know much about that part of his li\fe. I do know that my mother's oldest sister convinced him to go to AA and that my mom and her other siblings would go with him and support him. I also know that he touched many lives through AA and that he helped many other struggling men. He also would speak at public schools about his addiction and how he overcame it.
Papa was also a WWII vet. He earned the Purple Heart. Reading through his memoirs you would never know that! He was a very humble man, never speaking highly of himself. He was a gunner on a transport ship and he does tell some stories of shooting down the Kamikazes which all I can assume is when he earned his Purple Heart. When his time of service was up he asked to re-enlist but was not able to because was flat footed. Just from reading his memoirs I think he was quite saddened and disappointed because he was good enough to draft to help fight the war but not good enough to keep afterwards....
I am so thankful for the heritage that God has blessed me with! Life and people are not perfect....but we all touch someone....what memories are you leaving behind?!
My first memories of him make me smile!! When I was little we lived in apartments. My mom would take me with her over to his house to do our laundry. I remember he always had Tab or Mr.Pib for her. He also had Nutterbutters that he would share with me..for they were his favorite. Funny, I cannot stand peanut butter but to this day I love Nutterbutters!!!
Papa was a smoker. And mom would tell me the evils of smoking and that I should share those with him for he might listen to me since I was little! One day while at his house, he was out, and my mother was busy in the laundry room. I walked into his den and saw his package of cigarettes on the coffee table. Since they were SO bad I began to take them out of the package one by one and break them in half...I think I might have been 3 or 4 at the time. When my mother came in and saw what I had done she just about had a fit!!! I find that quite funny now that I'm an adult. What did she expect me to do?!?! After all they were bad and could cause cancer...I was just helping him out!!!
Papa planted a garden and grew sunflowers. I remember on one of these said laundry trips seeing a huge, black garbage bag in his kitchen full of sunflower seeds!
He also had a neighbor by the name of Mrs.Duckwall. From what I can remember she wasn't the nicest neighbor, to a shy little girl was scary!!! Mrs.Duckwall had 2 little black and white dogs. I was not allowed to pet them when they were in her back yard. Well, you know how that goes! I stuck my little hand through the chain link fence and tried to pet one on the head....and while I did the other one lifted his leg and peed on my hand! Needless to say I never tried to pet them again!!
My grandfather also liked to hunt. One day my cousin Jarrod and I were both there. It seems to me that maybe our mothers had gone out and we were spending the day with Papa. While he was busy my cousin went exploring in the house, something we didn't really do allot of. He cracked open the door to the laundry room and then told me he had found something I just HAD to come and see. So as I reluctantly followed him, my grandfather having been somewhere behind us, he threw open the door and to my utter horror there hung poor Bambi, upside down!!! My cousin was thrilled with my response as any boy is at that age! And then from out of no where I hear my Papa ask if we want to touch it!!! I just about passed out!!!
Right outside the laundry room door hung a little rectangular 'box' on the wall. Sometimes it would make a little noise. Upon asking what it was my Papa told me that a little man lived inside of the box. I believed him!! When I visited the house as a teenager I had to laugh at myself...it was an air freshener!!! But it just amazed that I never questioned him or asked to see the little man!!!
When I started school my mom worked \for the public schools as a bus driver. She would drop me off at Papa's house early in the morning and he would take me to school. I remember watching the Captain America cartoon before school and thinking that I would marry him(Captain America) when I grew up!!! I suppose that is where my patriotism was born...lol.
My grandparents were divorced before I was born. One day while at my house my mom was talking to my grandfather on the phone. She said he had a question that he wanted to ask me. I couldn't have been very old...probably 5 or 6. I remember him asking me if I wanted a new grandmother. To this day I can recollect the picture in my mind's eye. She was tall and slender with a black beehive hairdo and was very sweet and grandmotherly...so I instantly said that I would love to have a new grandmother. Boy was I shocked!! The woman he married was just about the opposite of what I had imagined...but that's another story!
We moved away from Texas when I was 15. My mother asked me to write to him. She was concerned for his salvation and he would not talk to her about it saying that it was a personal matter. So over the year we would write back and forth. I was a summer missionary for CEF and while telling him all about what I was learning, he shared with me his testimony as a 12 year boy accepting Christ. he said that they didn't have baptismal pools in church so ever so often the ranchers would get together and they would baptize converts in a horse trough.
My grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. I didn't know much about that part of his li\fe. I do know that my mother's oldest sister convinced him to go to AA and that my mom and her other siblings would go with him and support him. I also know that he touched many lives through AA and that he helped many other struggling men. He also would speak at public schools about his addiction and how he overcame it.
Papa was also a WWII vet. He earned the Purple Heart. Reading through his memoirs you would never know that! He was a very humble man, never speaking highly of himself. He was a gunner on a transport ship and he does tell some stories of shooting down the Kamikazes which all I can assume is when he earned his Purple Heart. When his time of service was up he asked to re-enlist but was not able to because was flat footed. Just from reading his memoirs I think he was quite saddened and disappointed because he was good enough to draft to help fight the war but not good enough to keep afterwards....
I am so thankful for the heritage that God has blessed me with! Life and people are not perfect....but we all touch someone....what memories are you leaving behind?!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Home Education
I have been asked by several people why we home educate our children. Today I have been doing research on the Waldorf approach and comparing it with the Charlotte Mason method. Then I sat back and asked myself exactly what...how....do I want to teach my children...which then lead me to the question of why do I home educate my children. I believe starting with the 'why' will help lead me to the 'how' and 'what'.
I. myself, was not home educated. I spent most of my school years in the private school system. In grades 7th through 9th I was in public school. In high school I had 2 friends that were home schooled..one full time, the other went to school part of the week and the rest of the week worked on her studies at home. I was intrigued!!! I even asked my mom if she would consider teaching me at home. Unfortunately, I had younger brothers and sisters and she worked in the school office to help pay for our tuition and books at the private school. I found boys to be very distracting and most girls to be catty and fickle. I knew I wanted more for my children!! After graduating from high school (my younger siblings being in middle school) I came across an article that was given to my mom concerning the influences that a teacher has on his/her students. The teacher is with the student(s) almost 8 hours or more a day...therefore the teacher's attitudes, character traits both good and bad, and beliefs will begin to effect the life of the child. This concerned me. I could not be sure that what I would be teaching and training my children at home would not be undermined at school. While just 19 years old I determined that I would home educate my children based on those facts alone. The longer I have home educated my children the more I have come across disturbing statistics that just deepened my reasons for doing this.
The percentage of illiterates, teen pregnancies, suicides, killings, premarital intercourse, crime, etc have sky rocketed since taking Bible and prayer out of our classrooms. Why would anyone want to put their children in such a sess pool? It is time to start thinking outside the box of education!!! The government's system is tearing down our homes and ruining our children's lives! We as Americans are more interested in material things than the spiritual welfare of our children. Education just doesn't effect the mind, but also the heart and soul. If done properly children will grow into mature, responsible, well rounded. well balanced individuals. Isn't that what we would like?! That is my goal!!
Home education is not for the faint hearted (though you may experience that from time to time). It is for the strong in spirit that want more for our children..that want more for America and that want more for God!!!
Why do you home educate?
I. myself, was not home educated. I spent most of my school years in the private school system. In grades 7th through 9th I was in public school. In high school I had 2 friends that were home schooled..one full time, the other went to school part of the week and the rest of the week worked on her studies at home. I was intrigued!!! I even asked my mom if she would consider teaching me at home. Unfortunately, I had younger brothers and sisters and she worked in the school office to help pay for our tuition and books at the private school. I found boys to be very distracting and most girls to be catty and fickle. I knew I wanted more for my children!! After graduating from high school (my younger siblings being in middle school) I came across an article that was given to my mom concerning the influences that a teacher has on his/her students. The teacher is with the student(s) almost 8 hours or more a day...therefore the teacher's attitudes, character traits both good and bad, and beliefs will begin to effect the life of the child. This concerned me. I could not be sure that what I would be teaching and training my children at home would not be undermined at school. While just 19 years old I determined that I would home educate my children based on those facts alone. The longer I have home educated my children the more I have come across disturbing statistics that just deepened my reasons for doing this.
The percentage of illiterates, teen pregnancies, suicides, killings, premarital intercourse, crime, etc have sky rocketed since taking Bible and prayer out of our classrooms. Why would anyone want to put their children in such a sess pool? It is time to start thinking outside the box of education!!! The government's system is tearing down our homes and ruining our children's lives! We as Americans are more interested in material things than the spiritual welfare of our children. Education just doesn't effect the mind, but also the heart and soul. If done properly children will grow into mature, responsible, well rounded. well balanced individuals. Isn't that what we would like?! That is my goal!!
Home education is not for the faint hearted (though you may experience that from time to time). It is for the strong in spirit that want more for our children..that want more for America and that want more for God!!!
Why do you home educate?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a powerful word....it is a powerful act.
It is easy to forgive those that we love or those that love us in return......But what about those that we aren't close to? Or that continually hurt us? Or those that we don't 'care' for?
What exactly is forgiveness??? I used to think that when you forgave someone that you should be able to pick up where you left off and everything would be just fine. I know not quite realistic...but I am an idealist. It is always how I have forgiven others...until 'recently'. I could not reconcile my definition of forgiveness when it was impossible to continue the relationship....then my very logical husband reminded me that different trespasses come with different consequences. I needed to take a closer look at forgiveness. I know that as a Christian I am commanded to forgive those..any and all...that offend....that's fine when it's an 'easy' thing to do..... But I found myself in a delima....the offense was so great and so deep that I didn't feel that the offending party warranted forgiveness. Horrible, I know... But it brought me to a place where I needed to search out the truth of God's meaning of forgiveness.
I had told the offending party they were forgiven...I told myself that I had forgiven them...I begged God to help me forgive them....but I still felt hurt and betrayed and angry. So how can you forgive and still feel those things? I came to the place where I wanted to forgive them but it felt so beyond my reach. I knew God would not hear or answer my prayers...I knew that I would grow cold and bitter and carry needless baggage. So I began to pray that God would help me....that He would show me how and that I would feel that peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)
Our Sunday school teacher had been teaching on love (oh...my favorite subject :) And my husband just happened to be in the class with me due to laryngitis. I thought this was going to be good!!! But God knew that I needed this lesson more than my husband....and it was not to be on love but the opposite of love...bitterness. He told us that the way to overcome bitterness is forgiveness. I was all ears!!! He said that forgiveness is a process. He took us Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as Gd for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
We are to be kind to the offending party. Easy? I think not!!! But God says in Matthew 5:44 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.' Joseph (from the Old Testament) set the perfect example!! His brothers hated him, sold him into slavery, his master's wife falsely accused him, he wa then thrown into prison for years and then forgot about by everyone...everyone except for God!
Joseph realized that judgement (to get even) was not his to execute but Gods! Genesis 50:19 'And Joseph said unto them,(his brothers..the offending party) Fear not: for am I in the place of God?' Romans 12:17 a says 'Recompense to no man evil for evil. vs 19-21 'Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.'
Joseph was able to see God's soverign hand in all that he went through. Genesis 50:20 'But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.' He was able to trust God enough to know that there was a bigger picture. And Joseph was able to show genuine love and concern for those who had abused and mistreated him. Genesis 50:21 'Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And hecomforted them, and spake kindly unto them.'
You cannot begin to forgive unless you have a tender heart...you will not have a tender heart towards someone until you show them kindness! Show knidness, followed by prayer while seeking a tender heart and nocus on forgiveness.No one canthose things and be bitter at the same time! Joseph had many oppurtunities to feed the fire of hatred and bitterness, but he decided, instead, to have the correct response...he left the judgement in God's hands. How could he do this? He was close to God!!!
He chose not to focus on the hurt or loneliness but on the goodness of God...he chose to completely and utterly trust God. Joseph knew about grace!!!!! For alll of this takes grace and a great amount of it!!!
So now that I have realized that though I may never be able to be close to those that hurt me...I can be kind...I can be tenderhearted...and I can and will forgive them!!!! God's grace is all sufficient!!! God chose to forgive me....I can choose to forgive others...and so can you!!!!!
It is easy to forgive those that we love or those that love us in return......But what about those that we aren't close to? Or that continually hurt us? Or those that we don't 'care' for?
What exactly is forgiveness??? I used to think that when you forgave someone that you should be able to pick up where you left off and everything would be just fine. I know not quite realistic...but I am an idealist. It is always how I have forgiven others...until 'recently'. I could not reconcile my definition of forgiveness when it was impossible to continue the relationship....then my very logical husband reminded me that different trespasses come with different consequences. I needed to take a closer look at forgiveness. I know that as a Christian I am commanded to forgive those..any and all...that offend....that's fine when it's an 'easy' thing to do..... But I found myself in a delima....the offense was so great and so deep that I didn't feel that the offending party warranted forgiveness. Horrible, I know... But it brought me to a place where I needed to search out the truth of God's meaning of forgiveness.
I had told the offending party they were forgiven...I told myself that I had forgiven them...I begged God to help me forgive them....but I still felt hurt and betrayed and angry. So how can you forgive and still feel those things? I came to the place where I wanted to forgive them but it felt so beyond my reach. I knew God would not hear or answer my prayers...I knew that I would grow cold and bitter and carry needless baggage. So I began to pray that God would help me....that He would show me how and that I would feel that peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)
Our Sunday school teacher had been teaching on love (oh...my favorite subject :) And my husband just happened to be in the class with me due to laryngitis. I thought this was going to be good!!! But God knew that I needed this lesson more than my husband....and it was not to be on love but the opposite of love...bitterness. He told us that the way to overcome bitterness is forgiveness. I was all ears!!! He said that forgiveness is a process. He took us Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as Gd for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
We are to be kind to the offending party. Easy? I think not!!! But God says in Matthew 5:44 'Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.' Joseph (from the Old Testament) set the perfect example!! His brothers hated him, sold him into slavery, his master's wife falsely accused him, he wa then thrown into prison for years and then forgot about by everyone...everyone except for God!
Joseph realized that judgement (to get even) was not his to execute but Gods! Genesis 50:19 'And Joseph said unto them,(his brothers..the offending party) Fear not: for am I in the place of God?' Romans 12:17 a says 'Recompense to no man evil for evil. vs 19-21 'Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.'
Joseph was able to see God's soverign hand in all that he went through. Genesis 50:20 'But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.' He was able to trust God enough to know that there was a bigger picture. And Joseph was able to show genuine love and concern for those who had abused and mistreated him. Genesis 50:21 'Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And hecomforted them, and spake kindly unto them.'
You cannot begin to forgive unless you have a tender heart...you will not have a tender heart towards someone until you show them kindness! Show knidness, followed by prayer while seeking a tender heart and nocus on forgiveness.No one canthose things and be bitter at the same time! Joseph had many oppurtunities to feed the fire of hatred and bitterness, but he decided, instead, to have the correct response...he left the judgement in God's hands. How could he do this? He was close to God!!!
He chose not to focus on the hurt or loneliness but on the goodness of God...he chose to completely and utterly trust God. Joseph knew about grace!!!!! For alll of this takes grace and a great amount of it!!!
So now that I have realized that though I may never be able to be close to those that hurt me...I can be kind...I can be tenderhearted...and I can and will forgive them!!!! God's grace is all sufficient!!! God chose to forgive me....I can choose to forgive others...and so can you!!!!!
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